Thursday, August 28, 2008

How to survive a pub crawl

We have another non work-sanctioned pub crawl tomorrow night (oh dear, my liver), which means I should be sleeping now to rest up for a late night - but we all know that's not happening (see previous post), so I thought I'd compile some notes in preparation for tomorrow night's hedonism.

Tips for surviving a pub crawl:

1. Eat first.
2. Establish the "buddy" system, i.e., "you hold my hair back for me while I puke, and I'll hold yours."
3. Never have more than one drink at one location (2-for-1 at Badlands to kick off the night would be considered a terrible idea).
4. No shots without a chaser.
5. For the love of all that is holy, do NOT say at any point during the night, "I'm not even drunk," because someone will hand you a Long Island Iced Tea and you will drink it. And thus, the night for you will end.
6. No cameras. Unless YOU own it and control the rights to all images captured. Do NOT pose for pictures taken by anyone else.
7. Don't even try to meet up with anyone or wait for them. Because while you wait, you'll need a drink at all times, and you will inevitably break the one-drink-per-venue rule because people are flakes and who knows how long you could be waiting.
8. Somehow along the drunken trail, have some pizza. Grease helps to soak up booze, thus prolonging the evening.
9. NO RED WINE - you will get emotional or sleepy. In either scenario, the fun will end.
10. End the night with some dancing to work off the potential for hangover.
11. Deny everything tomorrow.

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