Gratitude

i've been on a brief hiatus on account of my life being thrown into complete upheaval. details are irrelevant; suffice to say, my heart aches and i'm having to change my course in life. i have this overwhelming sense of uncertainty and angst about it all. i can do it, i can be strong when i have to be - sometimes i just get tired of having my strength tested.

watched a documentary on darfur tonight, and i really shouldn't be complaining about a damn thing. i live quite a blessed life. it's not without its challenges, but i certainly am blessed to have all that i have. i'm grateful for every chance i've had to become a better person, to learn from my mistakes and to love with all my heart.

all that being said, nights are the worst.

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Oh you, you have been loved by someone good
Yeah you, you will be loved
Oh will you ever know
That the bitterness and anger left me long ago
Only sadness remains
And it will pass

Phantom

"A large proportion of amputees (50-80%) experience the phenomenon of phantom limbs; they feel body parts that are no longer there. These limbs can itch, ache, and feel as if they are moving. Some scientists believe it has to do with a kind of neural map that the brain has of the body, which sends information to the rest of the brain about limbs regardless of their existence. A similar phenomenon is unexplained sensation in a body part unrelated to the amputated limb. It has been hypothesized that the portion of the brain responsible for processing stimulation from amputated limbs, being deprived of input, actually expands into the surrounding brain, such that an individual who has had an arm amputated will experience unexplained pressure or movement on their face or head. The individual may also experience some trauma as well as emotional discomfort."

-Wikipedia, under "Amputation"

Thoughts for the Week

(I'm borrowing some thoughts from other people because my head's a little tired of thinking...)*

1) "Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened." -Dr. Seuss
2) “Anyone can give up, it's the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that's true strength.” -?
3) "I am glad that I paid so little attention to good advice; had I abided by it I might have been saved from some of my most valuable mistakes." - Edna St. Vincent Millay
4) "If neurotic is wanting two mutually exclusive things at one and the same time, then I'm neurotic as hell. I'll be flying back and forth between one mutually exclusive thing and another for the rest of my days." -Sylvia Plath
5) "Love does not begin and end the way we seem to think it does. Love is a battle, love is a war; love is a growing up." James A. Baldwin
6) "Love that is not madness is not love." -Pedro Calderon de la Barca
7) "I usually get myself into situations that cause sparks. I mean I'm a girl that likes the storms. I love feeling alive, I love walking out in the cold in my bare feet and feeling the ice on my toes." - Tori Amos
8)" ... take care of the problems now, or else you'll just have to suffer again later when you screw everything up the next time. And that repetition of suffering - that's hell. Moving out of that endless repetition to a new level of understanding - there's where you'll find heaven." -Elizabeth Gilbert
9) "There must be quite a few things that a hot bath won't cure, but I don't know many of them." - Sylvia Plath

*The image comes from http://postsecret.blogspot.com.